I have a few “friends” and co-workers who on occasion like to call me “bougie.” Each time they do, I cut them a glance out of the corner of my eye. I’m not sure what their intention is? Are they being mean-spirited? I didn’t think so.
I never know what I do or say that triggers them to blurt out, “You’re so bougie!” When it happens, I do a quick assessment of what I said, what I’m wearing . . . Is it my shoes?
Recently, after being called bougie (again) by a black co-worker, I asked her, ‘Why did you call me that?’ She couldn’t give me a straight answer . . . Just ‘BS’ about “it’s just who you are.” So I told her, “Ok, I guess I’ll just be bougie and proud!”
When I came across a blog dedicated to the bouge, I thought it appropriate to share and promote my bougie sister. Her blog is awesome and called ‘Black ‘n Bougie’ (hmm, maybe cause I use the word ‘awesome?’) Anyway below is an excerpt from her blog where she explains her definition of what bougie really means (and I concur) She has a Black & Bougie Radio Network, Her name is Michele Grant, aka ‘OneChele.’
Bouge Basics:
What is BougieLand, you may ask?
BougieLand is my own little made up world where bougie isn’t bad… it’s beautiful. I’ve decided to embrace the positive aspects of bouge and own it. Bouge is love.
bou·gie Pronunciation: \ˈbü-ˌzhē, -ˌjē\ From Wikipedia & Merriam-Webster ya’ll: Bourgeoisie is a classification used in analyzing human societies to describe a social class of people. Historically, the bourgeoisie comes from the middle classes whose status or power came from employment, education, and wealth. In urban pop culture, the word bourgeoisie is shortened to “bougie.”
Adjective meaning extravagant, often to the point of snobbery. Usually used in relation to the conspicuous consumption of the urban upper-middle class.
I’m electing to remove the negative stereotype of bouge and embrace the beauty. Allow me to present (if I may)…
THE BOUGE RULES (what puts the bouge in bougie)
- Bougie is more than a way of life, it’s a state of mind
- Bougie does not equal stuck-up, siddity & pretty… unless it does
- There’s nothing wrong with being bougie if your heart is true to the bouge
- If you are true to the bouge, people will hate on you. You won’t care, you are too busy being bougie
- You can be born bougie, you can marry into bouge and you can evolve into bougie
- You can be bougie and hood but not at the same time
- You are no longer bougie if you are completely ghetto (fabulous or not)
- You can be broke and bougie but bougie works better with bank
- Bouge brings responsibility. Do not shame your bouge brothers and sisters lest you be kicked up out the bouge circle
- Bouge is old school people, we don’t hate… we congratulate.
To learn a little more, check out my post on What Bougie Is To Me and the ultimate Bougie Manifesto: Defending Our Blackness.
More questions? Find me on Twitter, on Facebook, on Email or on my Michele Grant site or Tumblr.
The Bohemian Home Journal 
Are You Listening?
Posted by Zen Doe in Being There, Zen
How do we listen, really? Do we listen in order to judge, to dismiss, to find a point of contention? Do we listen only well enough to gauge when a response – a grunt – is called for? Do we listen to gather evidence that we are right and that they are wrong? Do we listen so that we can reply, or one-up the speaker? When the sunrise speaks to us, do we compare it to another, or simply let it fill us?
Each of us yearns to be heard, to be understood. How well, how deeply, do we listen?
Are You Listening?.
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Posted in Commentary